fear not

​By Leslie Stickland, Chosen Program Director

Type "overcoming fear" into your Google search bar and see how long it takes you to comb through all of the suggested quotes, books, blogs, podcasts, and videos. Trust me when I say there are not enough hours in the day to scratch the surface of this topic.

FEAR. The possibilities are endless. You can fear heights, you can fear failure, you can even fear fear itself. And as we already noted, there are unending theories, Bible verses, and 10-step plans available to help us understand and overcome our fears. I'll leave all of that up to the experts; but what I DO want to camp out on for a minute, is the simple fact that every. single. human. being. has. fears. Now, that may seem like an overly obvious thing to state, but I think far too often we forget the commonalities that tie us all together. We all know what it feels like to be scared about something. And yet, for some reason, as we grow up it becomes less and less socially acceptable to admit these things; and before we know it, we are presenting only a shell of ourselves to those around us.​

​It seems like sometimes we--the world, social services, the Church—carry this idea or mentality that there are those that fix and those that need to be fixed. Those that have answers and those that need answers. And while we know on an intellectual level that everyone is flawed and struggles in some way, our actions and behaviors often say otherwise.

When people hear that I work with children, teens, and families that have experienced all kinds of abuse, neglect, and loss, I often hear things like, "Oh, I could never do that. I could never listen to those stories. I would just cry all the time;" or, "That would be so scary, you're so brave."

Well, here's a little secret: I DO CRY and IT IS SCARY because as it turns out, I can't actually fix anyone and I need the Lord just as much as the next person. I don't always say the right thing, and oftentimes I drive myself nuts wishing I had done something differently; but I have learned that honesty, transparency, and humility go a long way. An adult being willing to admit their weaknesses and mistakes makes an enormous impression on a hurting child or teenager. 

Want to diffuse a tense situation with a ticked off teen? Apologize for letting your stressful day effect the way you talked to them. Want to make an angry kid smile? Tell her about the time you were so scared to give your presentation at work that you sweat through your shirt AND jacket (just an example of course).

My point? Our fears, our frailties, our sins... these are the things that remind us that we are all in the same boat. Maybe we're on different decks and perhaps we’re all dressed differently, but we all experience the storms. So just remember, you are not alone; we’re all in this together. Don't let fear be the thing that keeps you from stepping out in faith and serving. Rather, let it be the thing that keeps us on our knees and in community with one another as we look to become more like Christ each day.